I was a total asshole to myself this morning. After getting my A1C, cholesterol, and full blood work, I went out and ate 2 bagels with cream cheese. Two!! Bill is an asshole!

What would be your end it all diabetic coma last meal?

Epic Meal Time has many great diabetic coma inducing meals. Here are two of my favorites.

The first, Meatza, actually isn’t “too bad,” though they could have used a lot more cheese.

Here’s the one that’ll drop you into a coma: Fast Food Lasagna (next level fast food usage)!

What’s your favorite meal that’ll put you into a diabetic coma? Comment below, my fellow sticky, sweet blood friends!

Sciatic nerve pain isn’t something to mess around with. It can be debilitating. Unlike the silence of diabetes, the sciatic nerve can be loud and proud. Yeah, I’ve got that issue too. Good news: it got me outside exercising, trying to walk it off.

Weighing yourself  regularly in front of a loved one would probably shame you into working harder. I just weighed myself for the first time in months – and found 10 more pounds than I expected.

Love poem to pizza

Is pizza the number one thing a diabetic misses in their diet? Yeah, probably so. Leave a comment below telling me what you miss the most.

I’m working on my own pizza poem, but here’s one while we wait for that.

By Jack Prelutsky

I’m making a pizza the size of the sun,
a pizza that’s sure to weigh more than a ton,
a pizza too massive to pick up and toss,
a pizza resplendent with oceans of sauce.

I’m topping my pizza with mountains of cheese,
with acres of peppers, pimentos, and peas,
with mushrooms, tomatoes, and sausage galore,
with every last olive they had at the store.

My pizza is sure to be one of a kind,
my pizza will leave other pizzas behind,
my pizza will be a delectable treat
that all who love pizza are welcome to eat.

The oven is hot, I believe it will take
a year and a half for my pizza to bake.
I hardly can wait till my pizza is done,
my wonderful pizza the size of the sun.

Gas stations have become processed corn stations: ethanol outside for your car and high-fructose corn syrup inside for you.

– Michael Pollan, Food Rules

Things I would have eaten today if I didn’t have type 2 diabetes

Saturday has been the day to treat myself, especially before being diagnosed with diabetes. It started with a former girlfriend who had a little eating disorder. But that’s another story.

Here’s what I would have eaten on normal Saturday:

  • Homemade old fashion oatmeal with raisins and a tablespoon of real maple syrup (my oatmeal recipe is worth a blog post on its own)
  • There’s a great hockey game this afternoon, so I would have gone to my favorite pub and drank about 48 ounces of beer, then had a lunch of either a sausage or Ruben sub
  • I would have stopped by my favorite wine shop for a tasting
  •  Snack! Sometime during the day I would have had a snack. A piece of fruit, beef jerky, yogurt, or vinegar potato chips are regulars.
  • Dinner I would have gone a little wild. Mac & cheese? Sausage? Omelet? Sweet potato oven fries? Pizza? Those are just some of the things I might have eaten.

Not a lot of green leafy vegetables there.

Being a good boy who gets his gold star from the health professionals means my Saturday is going to be different. From the above list, I’ll eat

  • Oatmeal
  • 12 ounces of beer
  • Piece of fruit
  • Yogurt

This is bullshit!