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The reason we are going to war is to preserve the freedom of Billy Ray Cyrus! However, I do miss Bill Hicks and his proposed reality TV idea (in 1993!). Here’s what he said about his show idea, Let’s Hunt and Kill Billy Ray Cyrus:

bq. I think it’s fairly self-explanatory,” Hicks said. “Each week we let the Hounds of Hell loose and chase that jarhead, no-talent, cracker idiot all over the globe ’till I finally catch that fruity little ponytail of his, pull him to his Chippendale’s knees, put a shotgun in his mouth — POW!